What is Fear?

Fears come in all shapes and sizes. Some are blips on the radar screen; others are wholly debilitating. We’re all pretty well aware of our physiological responses to fear: heart pounding out of our chests; palms sweating; confusion or hyper clarity; no matter what a crash landing when you finally come down. Recently, I uncovered the fact that our fears can really be divided into 3 categories. I’d like to share them with you.

•  The first is the fear of suffering
•  The second is the fear of death;
•  The third, the fear of G-d.

As I have come to understand in working with my clients, what frightens us most may be our fear of suffering. Of course, for each of us it is different! But consider that our fear of stepping out into the life we desire is primarily a fear of suffering: suffering the pain of embarrassment. Or, fear of how we will suffer at our own judgment or when others judge us. Fear that we will suffer a loss of money or prestige or even home and hearth. Such pain — and SUFFERING.

One of my clients suffered for months at the idea that she might live alone after being in a non-serving relationship for many years. The idea of nights by herself was excruciatingly painful, and she truly suffered. Finally, after months of the agony she moved into her own place. It took her 2 months to be able to sleep alone in her new apartment. Now, 6 months later, she told me how wonderful it was to come home some nights and have no one there: no one to accommodate; no one to answer to. She was in her bliss.

We must ask the question the what it is costing us NOT to face our fears! Let’s look at the ‘what ifs.’ We can take on that scenario of what if everything is awful; what if I fail; what if I am embarrassed; what if I lose everything? Yes, you can hold that vibration. Or, you can say what if …. everything works out OK; what if I create the life I want; what if I find the love in my life I’ve been searching for? There’s such a difference in that vibration in our bodies!

Going back to our 3 basic fears, what is fear of death? Perhaps we will SUFFER a spiritual death. Ever heard the expression scared to death or embarrassed to death. We are not talking of literal death here.

Even our fear of G-d (Spirit, goddess, All that Is, Universal Energy) is, in some sense, a fear of suffering. If we do not act in accordance with the Universe’s (Spirit’s) law, we will suffer.

Besides the misery of this pain and suffering, what else do we experience when in this mode?

Here’s just 3 things, and I’ll bet you can come up with a lot more.

  1. Mental clarity may be clouded; or you may go into hyper overdrive.  Engrossing fearful thoughts may keep you from focusing and from developing the important strategies you need at the moment.
  2. You may have an erosion of confidence.  There’s a constant chipping away of confidence every time we succumb to fear in one way or another and run!
  3. Opportunities may be missed if we are too wrapped up in our fears to see the chances that we are just in front of us.

All of this is present when we believe we cannot reach the life we want, or that we are running out of time, or that we are NOT STRONG ENOUGH OR ABLE ENOUGH to grant our own wishes. That pain is pretty intense, isn’t it?  It appears that it all comes down to suffering.

How willing are you to step away from the suffering?

 

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